Goodbye My Baby Maxx

Everything was fine when I woke up this morning...

I fell asleep on the couch and when I got up I gave the cats some food and then let them outside for a run. They were out for a few hours and then came in around lunch for a break. Everything was fine.

My sister called me and they had a great deal on flooring at Home Depot so I went out with her for a few hours to pick up the flooring and run some errands. I got her to stop at my vets office so I could pick up some honey suckle treats for my boys, I was thinking that I hadn't been to the vet in quite a while and it had been awhile since I've come home with treats.

I got home and let the cats out while I loaded the 22 boxes of flooring into the house. Maxx was meowing around, hissing around at Jaike, but everything seemed fine. When I was done loading the wood I noticed that Maxx was sitting at the back door meowing to get back inside, that's a little bit strange for Maxx cause it usually is not so easy to get him back in. It was right about then that I started to get the feeling that everything was not so fine.

I laid down with Maxx and he was meowing alot, rolling around, and kind of panting. I slowly started to check his limbs and check him out for any sensitive areas in case he had hurt something or sprained something but nothing seemed overly sensitive... but he kept on panting, he didn't seem right.

I tried to look it up on the internet but nothing popped out. I called the vet and they asked if he was panting with his mouth open. When I said yes they said that I'd better bring him down.

I had to make the decision to put my baby Maxx to sleep tonight.

His heart was not doing good at all, he was having a really hard time breathing, it's just the way it is, there not really a reason for it or a cause and it is SO FUCKING UNFAIR!

I'm really mad... I'm really sad... For the last few years all I've had is my cats. At times I get really lonely and miss the busy house I used to have with Maxx, roomates, friends, and even more pets... I've lost all that but I still had Maxx...

So right now I hate this stupid world, I hate this stupid life, and I hate whoever up there decided it was time to take my baby... it wasn't and I should have at least had some warning and some time to say goodbye... I wish I slept in bed with him purring beside my head last night. I wish we had the chance to get to cuddle this morning... and I wish that I was with him all day today so he wouldn't have gotten sick alone.

I wish...